A Day to Rival Alexander's

You know your day's off to a bad start when you wake up at 7:33 and you need to be to work at 7:40. When you have massive bed head and have to take a fast, frozen shower. When, on the way to work in the car that your dad is letting you borrow, you nail a squirrel. When you look out the side window and realize that three grade school kids witnessed the atrocity. When you arrive to work to find that someone has taken your parking space. When the first thing that a student says to you is, "I may be a little weird today because I took too much medicine. And I took too much sugar." And you look at the clock as the first period bell rings and realize you've been awake for exactly 27 minutes.