For the Barnes and Noble History Book Club last month we read Maalouf's Crusades Through Arab Eyes. The amazing thing is that the accounts are pretty much the same as the "Western Version" in that certain figures are characterized as great (Saladin jumps to mind) and others are vicious butchers. Which means that chroniclers were particularly objective at this certain point in history. The main difference is that the crusades aren't divided up into 1st, 2nd, 3rd; it's just a continuous stream of reinforcements.
For the first two thirds of the book, I kept thinking to myself when are the Arabs going to get it together? The Franj come down and slaughter cities and every leader is looking out for themselves or believes that the invading army will go elsewhere. This of course makes sense. The Franj came to take back the Holy Land; a singular focus, while the Arab leaders have to beware of the tribal lines, the invaders, and to a lesser extent later, the Mongols. At certain points the Arabs form truces with Franj to attack other Arab cities and occassionally even prefer to live under Franj rule instead of a rival Arab leader.
But the strongest section of this book is the Epilogue. The author points out that at the time of the Crusades, the Arab world was actually culturally, scientifically, and intellectually ahead of the rest of the world. The Franj army invaded and took not only land but also their ideas. The ideas went back to Europe, were improved upon, and led to the rise of Western power. The new technology inevitably flows back into the Arab world much to the detriment of the culture. Before the invasion, Westerners were seen as barbaric oafs who had nothing to offer; now, the Arab world wants nothing to do with anything Western so even if it demonstrably improves their lives they reject.
This line of thinking is prevelant today. When the man shot John Paul II, he said he was attempting to kill the leader of the crusades, when nations reject "democracy" in the Middle East they reject the Western way of governing, being told how to set up their state. During the crusades when a Franj leader died everyone knew who the successor was; when an Arab leader died a civil war broke out. Nation building has never been a goal. When the Arab world thinks about getting back to a time when they were superior to the Western world they don't look at adopting our advances and improving on them, they look backward at a time when the mindset was even more militantly anti-Western.
March 31, 2006
March 29, 2006
Why I Don't Read Much Fiction These Days
Well, I finally finished "Confederacy of Dunces". I have this sick disease that makes me finish every book that I start even if it is truly awful. The only time I have been able to break this curse was with Neal Stephenson's plodding epic "Quicksliver" that I got as a galley copy the summer I worked at Barnes and Noble. I guess there are several reasons why I shouldn't have even started that one, but I couldn't think of any reason not to pick up Toole's Pulitzer Prize winning book. In fact, when you type in "confederacy of dunces" at amazon.com the related books are "Infinite Jest", "Gravity's Rainbow", and "A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius" Fine books, all. I don't see the connection.
The gimmick of the book is that the reader is drawn to this overeducated oaf who is forced into the job market and has disasterous results. Remember that scene in Catcher in the Rye when Holden introduces us to Stradlater and Ackley. Ackley is the bad-breath, pimple-faced loser. Stradlater is the jock that gets the girls and pushes homework off on others. By comparison, Holden doesn't look so bad. If it was just him though you'd see him for the pessimistic, whiney, loony that he is. (Full disclosure: Catcher in the Rye is one of my top 5 books)
Same deal here; Ignatius is surrounded by characters that are so flat and bumbling that he seems endearing. Does this book get you to think deeper about, appreciate the nuances of, or view life any different? Nope. Toole does a good job capturing and filling the book with the different dialects of New Orleans but the characters are boring and unlikeable, and regardless of how many people say this book is a comic masterpiece, I didn't laugh or even chuckle once. The situations that come around are silly, not funny and I'll be hard pressed to tell you anything about this book in a week.
Imagine "The Simpsons" from the point of view of the fat comic book store owner and you have Confederacy of Dunces in a nutshell. Maybe good for a half hour of your time but not for a 300+ page book.
The gimmick of the book is that the reader is drawn to this overeducated oaf who is forced into the job market and has disasterous results. Remember that scene in Catcher in the Rye when Holden introduces us to Stradlater and Ackley. Ackley is the bad-breath, pimple-faced loser. Stradlater is the jock that gets the girls and pushes homework off on others. By comparison, Holden doesn't look so bad. If it was just him though you'd see him for the pessimistic, whiney, loony that he is. (Full disclosure: Catcher in the Rye is one of my top 5 books)
Same deal here; Ignatius is surrounded by characters that are so flat and bumbling that he seems endearing. Does this book get you to think deeper about, appreciate the nuances of, or view life any different? Nope. Toole does a good job capturing and filling the book with the different dialects of New Orleans but the characters are boring and unlikeable, and regardless of how many people say this book is a comic masterpiece, I didn't laugh or even chuckle once. The situations that come around are silly, not funny and I'll be hard pressed to tell you anything about this book in a week.
Imagine "The Simpsons" from the point of view of the fat comic book store owner and you have Confederacy of Dunces in a nutshell. Maybe good for a half hour of your time but not for a 300+ page book.
March 27, 2006
Parents These Days
Tis the season for student conferences. With involved, engaged parents it's no wonder that the federal government wants to put the onus on student achievement on the teachers. For a while now I've thought about going back to grad school but I'm not sure what I would study. Educational policy sounds intriguing but I firmly believe that the next revolution in education will be at home.
Conference #1
Parent doesn't come.
Conference #2
Parent doesn't come but the special ed teacher gets a hold of them via phone. The parent says, "Uh-huh" the rest of the conference.
Conference #3
Parent doesn't come and when the special ed teacher calls to remind them of the scheduled meeting she says, "I never got a m______f_______ letter." The special ed teacher tries to hold a phone conference but our voices are too loud on speakerphone. When the special ed teacher picks up the line, she is reamed and told not to be a smart ass. The conference is rescheduled.
Conference #4
Parent and student fail to show up.
How can we improve student performance? Don't worry about increasing parent responsibility or student engagement. Fix teacher salaries to the test scores of their students. Now all teachers will want to teach the lower achieving students. Yeah! What else? Let's produce studies that reveal that the reason kids drop out is because they are bored. Right! Let's turn our teachers into performers. I remember being bored in Mr. Kill's biology class. Did I ever think of dropping out? No. Did I ever blame him when grades came around for my lack of interest in RNA and mitosis? No.
For once, let's blame the students, let's hold the parents responsible. No Child Left Behind? Good grief.
Conference #1
Parent doesn't come.
Conference #2
Parent doesn't come but the special ed teacher gets a hold of them via phone. The parent says, "Uh-huh" the rest of the conference.
Conference #3
Parent doesn't come and when the special ed teacher calls to remind them of the scheduled meeting she says, "I never got a m______f_______ letter." The special ed teacher tries to hold a phone conference but our voices are too loud on speakerphone. When the special ed teacher picks up the line, she is reamed and told not to be a smart ass. The conference is rescheduled.
Conference #4
Parent and student fail to show up.
How can we improve student performance? Don't worry about increasing parent responsibility or student engagement. Fix teacher salaries to the test scores of their students. Now all teachers will want to teach the lower achieving students. Yeah! What else? Let's produce studies that reveal that the reason kids drop out is because they are bored. Right! Let's turn our teachers into performers. I remember being bored in Mr. Kill's biology class. Did I ever think of dropping out? No. Did I ever blame him when grades came around for my lack of interest in RNA and mitosis? No.
For once, let's blame the students, let's hold the parents responsible. No Child Left Behind? Good grief.
March 21, 2006
Open Letter to McDonald's
McDonald’s Corporation
2111 McDonald's Dr
Oak Brook, IL 60523
Dear Sir or Madam
I have recently returned to your franchise after a long, self-imposed furlough. The delicious mint and vanilla taste of your Shamrock Shake took me back to the days when your sandwiches used to be boxed in thick Styrofoam and I would try to sneak fries from the bag without my mother noticing.
However, time passes, we age, and custoners become more discriminating, so I was a little perplexed by the menu when I visited your store a few days ago. The $1 Menu looks to be a tremendous value to the consumer and most likely a boon to your pocketbook, but I was a little stymied by one of your offerings.
How can a double cheeseburger be sold for $1 and a regular cheeseburger for 95 cents? I can only figure two options; neither of which makes sense so I was hoping for a little clarity on this issue.
Option #1: The double cheeseburger is a loss leader; however, the obvious problem here is that people are probably not ordering much more food because the double cheeseburger fills a respectable appetite, so you’re just left with a loss. This is not good business.
Options #2: You realize that the cheeseburger is an incredibly bad deal but since you built your reputation on this offering, it would seem untraditional to remove it. Not to mention, in this increasingly health-conscious world, the reaction when people realize the smallest sandwich you offer would be the double.
Thank you for your time regarding my query; any information you could offer would be of great interest.
Sincerely,
Boot
2111 McDonald's Dr
Oak Brook, IL 60523
Dear Sir or Madam
I have recently returned to your franchise after a long, self-imposed furlough. The delicious mint and vanilla taste of your Shamrock Shake took me back to the days when your sandwiches used to be boxed in thick Styrofoam and I would try to sneak fries from the bag without my mother noticing.
However, time passes, we age, and custoners become more discriminating, so I was a little perplexed by the menu when I visited your store a few days ago. The $1 Menu looks to be a tremendous value to the consumer and most likely a boon to your pocketbook, but I was a little stymied by one of your offerings.
How can a double cheeseburger be sold for $1 and a regular cheeseburger for 95 cents? I can only figure two options; neither of which makes sense so I was hoping for a little clarity on this issue.
Option #1: The double cheeseburger is a loss leader; however, the obvious problem here is that people are probably not ordering much more food because the double cheeseburger fills a respectable appetite, so you’re just left with a loss. This is not good business.
Options #2: You realize that the cheeseburger is an incredibly bad deal but since you built your reputation on this offering, it would seem untraditional to remove it. Not to mention, in this increasingly health-conscious world, the reaction when people realize the smallest sandwich you offer would be the double.
Thank you for your time regarding my query; any information you could offer would be of great interest.
Sincerely,
Boot
March 19, 2006
Start slow, then taper off
On Saturday, I came in sixth in my age group in the local 20K run (12.4 miles). One qualifier: there were only 6 runners in my age group. The first three miles were on hills and the first six miles were into the wind, and since we were in farm country, there was nothing around to stop the wind. Needless to say, that since I was sick a couple of weeks ago and could hardly stay awake for work much less to go running, I hit the wall fairly early. At 10K point, I had a time of 1:06 but shortly after my legs started to refuse to work and lightning began striking one of my toes whenever I would hit the pavement. So, I decided to walk / run with a fellow jogger, Deb. We finished the last 6 miles together, complained about the wind, enjoyed the scenery, and finished with the exact same time of 2:28:19. I guess I could be disappointed that I wasn't able to run the whole thing, but then I think about all the people that didn't move 12 miles away from their home yesterday much less compete in a race.
March 16, 2006
A Day to Rival Alexander's
You know your day's off to a bad start when you wake up at 7:33 and you need to be to work at 7:40. When you have massive bed head and have to take a fast, frozen shower. When, on the way to work in the car that your dad is letting you borrow, you nail a squirrel. When you look out the side window and realize that three grade school kids witnessed the atrocity. When you arrive to work to find that someone has taken your parking space. When the first thing that a student says to you is, "I may be a little weird today because I took too much medicine. And I took too much sugar." And you look at the clock as the first period bell rings and realize you've been awake for exactly 27 minutes.
March 15, 2006
Concerts, the state of
Last weekend I went to Chicago and saw Belle and Sebastian. Wait, let me start over.
Last weekend I went to a Belle and Sebastian concert. For some reason, Belle and Sebastian draws an unusually tall crowd so I never actually saw the band except at one point where he stood on a speaker for a few lines.
There was a time, years ago when I really enjoyed going to concerts. A group of us would drive down to Deer Creek (now Verizon Wireless Music Center) and see Dave Matthews or Phish or Counting Crows or whatever other Top 40 alt rock band would come through. It was a huge, impersonal venue but being with friends and girls and making fun of the bad dancers and giggling as people would make out and feeling shocked when the girls would get strangers to buy them beer and feeling subversive for being able to pick out the smell of weed made the whole concert experience...
There was something about shutting your eyes and feeling the bass in your stomach, and seeing the lights flash behind your eyelids, and hearing thousands of people scream in recognition as the first note of a song played...
In college, the feeling began to go away. Bob Schnieder and Rufus Wainwright and Guster and Ani Difranco all put on good shows but there was something missing. Even when I went back to Deer Creek to see Paul Simon, who did three encores and it thundered and poured all around us, I felt more removed from the experience and was content with smaller venues and more personal touches but the excitment, the enthusiasm was never the same.
So when S, C, K, and I went to the Belle and Sebastian concert we found a spot on the floor but the idea of being pressed against people for 2 hours wasn't exactly appealing. So we (except S) moved back by the bar and stood against the wall. Maybe I'm not a good concertgoer. But concerts nowadays feel like I'm listening to a really loud, never-before-released live record. Even artists like Sigur Ros who intentially flood the senses, I find lackluster. And the whole time I'm thinking, I could be listening to this CD at home while I play Yahtzee! or read or cook.
Last weekend I went to a Belle and Sebastian concert. For some reason, Belle and Sebastian draws an unusually tall crowd so I never actually saw the band except at one point where he stood on a speaker for a few lines.
There was a time, years ago when I really enjoyed going to concerts. A group of us would drive down to Deer Creek (now Verizon Wireless Music Center) and see Dave Matthews or Phish or Counting Crows or whatever other Top 40 alt rock band would come through. It was a huge, impersonal venue but being with friends and girls and making fun of the bad dancers and giggling as people would make out and feeling shocked when the girls would get strangers to buy them beer and feeling subversive for being able to pick out the smell of weed made the whole concert experience...
There was something about shutting your eyes and feeling the bass in your stomach, and seeing the lights flash behind your eyelids, and hearing thousands of people scream in recognition as the first note of a song played...
In college, the feeling began to go away. Bob Schnieder and Rufus Wainwright and Guster and Ani Difranco all put on good shows but there was something missing. Even when I went back to Deer Creek to see Paul Simon, who did three encores and it thundered and poured all around us, I felt more removed from the experience and was content with smaller venues and more personal touches but the excitment, the enthusiasm was never the same.
So when S, C, K, and I went to the Belle and Sebastian concert we found a spot on the floor but the idea of being pressed against people for 2 hours wasn't exactly appealing. So we (except S) moved back by the bar and stood against the wall. Maybe I'm not a good concertgoer. But concerts nowadays feel like I'm listening to a really loud, never-before-released live record. Even artists like Sigur Ros who intentially flood the senses, I find lackluster. And the whole time I'm thinking, I could be listening to this CD at home while I play Yahtzee! or read or cook.
March 13, 2006
The Iceberg Theory
Why is it that scientists believe that when the glaciers melt the sea level will rise when the ice that melts in my glass of Rooibos tea makes the water level go down because frozen water expands?
March 10, 2006
The day I bought myself
Yesterday I went to the local clay studios and bought myself. One of my friends is in a local art collective called e4 - they work individually and collaboratively and had a show at the local studio. I bought two paintings.
I've never seen the point of trying to describe art in words. It seems impossible. The Mona Lisa is reduced to a portrait of a lady with a pensive smile. Pollack is a bunch of splatter. You can't describe the way Singer captures the female spirit or how emotional Rothko's colors can be.
Ok, I'll give it a shot. The first one I bought is by Tracy Row and is three small profiles of me looking deep in thought. I was playing chess at the time.
The second one is by Eric and is 6" X 6" and has a windmill on the left and a farmer holding a large red balloon on the right. See, it's hard to picture. Maybe I'll take a picture and post it later. Probably not.
I've never seen the point of trying to describe art in words. It seems impossible. The Mona Lisa is reduced to a portrait of a lady with a pensive smile. Pollack is a bunch of splatter. You can't describe the way Singer captures the female spirit or how emotional Rothko's colors can be.
Ok, I'll give it a shot. The first one I bought is by Tracy Row and is three small profiles of me looking deep in thought. I was playing chess at the time.
The second one is by Eric and is 6" X 6" and has a windmill on the left and a farmer holding a large red balloon on the right. See, it's hard to picture. Maybe I'll take a picture and post it later. Probably not.
March 6, 2006
Let the Experiment Begin!
It's funny to see the kind of reactions that people have to riding my bike around town. I've decided not to get my car fixed and rely solely on my own feet and public transportation in a city that hates bikers and has little tolerance for car-pooling but at least it will make for interesting blog entries.
Most people bug their eyes out and wait a second to see if I'm seriously going to give up my car. The one mile bike ride to school today was a little chilly and my glasses had a coating of ice on them from the snow but I arrived at about the same time as if I had a car and had to sit through red lights - there are always red lights.
At this point, the few weeks before my move to Chicago I really don't need to go anywhere. I've become rather insular. The only thing I'll need help with it getting to Waterloo to catch the train to Chicago unless I borrow or rent a car and getting to my meetings for my trip to Europe this summer. Both of which I think are manageable.
------------------------
I've become completely addicted to gameknot.com - it's a free chess site but instead of playing your opponent in real time you make a move then your opponent has 3 days or so to mull over the board before he responds. I like the quaintness of it - like when people used to play chess by mail with their friends. Maybe it's because I'm playing my cousin.
At Least It Wasn't in Canada
As usual, I went up to Chicago last weekend. On Saturday K and I went down to Princeton, IL to help her grandma move some boxes into storage. We had a nice time, ate way too much bad Chinese buffet, and headed up to Ottawa, IL to visit her sister.
When P and I went to the storage garage we unloaded the car and when we got back in all we heard was a click. The good ole reliable Neon decided not to start. P and I called K who graciously came to pick us up. We had to punch the exit code to let her in to try to jump the car. This of course didn't work so we had to push the Neon out of the fenced in storage center and into the parking lot. As I was pushing, P ran up ahead and tried to punch in the gate code so we wouldn't lose momentum. Unfortunately, the gate thought we had exited when we let K in so it wouldn't work. P had to scale the barbed wire fence to punch in the entrance code.
We drove up to the local service station and after a dozen questions regarding the cost we found out that it would be $50 to tow it less than a mile. This of course wasn't acceptable so I called the insurance company. Ninety minutes later a tow truck, in fact the same tow truck that wanted the fifty spot, came and towed me for free to the same service station where the original inquiry took place.
K and I stayed in Ottawa overnight, ate pizza, cooed over the new baby, and relaxed after the frustration of losing a car nowhere near home. The next morning P graciously took us up to the Joliet train station and related a funny story about getting his window smashed in by a snow plow. K and I took the train back to Chicago, made dinner, watched my new guilty pleasure "Project Runway", and played yahtzee!
At 7:00 I took a taxi to the Amtrack where a nice homeless man opened the door for me and wanted a dollar for the service. Even for Chicago this seemed steep so I declined and headed back to Waterloo where A was waiting to bring me back to the Fort. I woke up a few hours later to return to work, carless.
March 1, 2006
Spam cummings Litter Apple
I received the following in a spam email. I thought it was strangely beautiful.
"drew he arms. force sandwich use make night suddenly.wife evening across teach turning. wrong she he speaking hard rich. servants wanted love force embarrass.parents filled thus. shining suddenly respect did side.force similar teach steps sugar principle.love bought thats arms profession principle."
May you rest in peace, Gertrude Stein.
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